Are You a People Pleaser?

Yikes so was I! 

But the unhealthy kind!

If you are a People Pleaser (PP) pleeeaassee keep reading.

People pleasing is the death of our own individuality and our spirit. Why? How? Because we put everyone else’s importance above our own.

But we are the most important thing in our own lives (hard to swallow, especially if you have children!)

Without ourselves operating from a full well of desires, aspirations, goals and what WE want, we just slip under the radar of life and so much of our lives go unnoticed.

THEN we get pissy and resentful.

As women, we’ve been socialized to be caregivers, nurturers, and helpers. But that doesn’t mean we give ourselves away, and yet, that is what people pleasing is. Just looks so charming when it has a bonnet on top.

People pleasing allows us to fulfill an unmet need within ourselves. Perhaps that unmet need is to be seen, wanted, valued, loved, liked, heard, important…you can fill in the blanks.

All around that is unhealthy!

NO is a complete sentence.

Do you constantly worry about what others might think or feel, even if it means sacrificing your own needs and desires? Do you find yourself apologizing excessively or feeling guilty for wanting something for yourself?

You struggle to say no.

Saying no to others can be a major challenge for people pleasers. Do you feel like you’re always being pulled in different directions, never having the time or energy to do what you truly want?

You put others’ needs ahead of your own self-care.

When was the last time you prioritized your own self-care? Do you find yourself skipping activities that bring you joy or relaxation because someone else needed something from you?

You feel resentful or burnt out.

Chronic people pleasing can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout. Do you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and that no one is acknowledging or appreciating your efforts?

 You struggle with setting boundaries.

Setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining relationships and preserving your own energy. Do you find yourself having trouble setting clear limits with others, or feeling guilty for doing so?

If any of these signs resonate with you, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate your behavior. Here are five healthy ways to break free from people pleasing:

1. Practice self-compassion – Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend.

2. Set clear boundaries – Communicate your needs and limits clearly with others, without apology.

3. Prioritize self-care – Schedule time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

4. Reframe negative self-talk – Challenge negative thoughts by reframing them in a more positive light.

5. Embrace imperfection – Remember that everyone makes mistakes, including others. Practice acceptance and forgiveness towards yourself and those around you.

Your wild and wonderful life depends on you taking back your power and indulging in some ‘me, me, me’ attitude!

 Is that selfish? Your life is meant to feel whole and complete.

So, who cares

And I total know this will have a few of you gasping – big love to you!